September 18, 2009

What does he see when you get naked?

We mirror into the eyes of those who we love. Sometimes, we do it when we are in loved, other times with the fears of the woman who is afraid not to loose. Discover which are the biggest concerns of women, how the loved man truly sees you and what are the best exercises to accept your own image and to become more self confident!

A look in the mirror, naked, in the harsh light of the morning can make every woman to find dozens of defects, more or less real. The truth is that we spend too much time of our life trying to hide these defects, to cover them and not to let anyone to suspect them.

Concealer, push up bra, special body lingerie- all those and many others represent the list of things used by women in these purposes, to hide the defects in order to seem even more beautiful.

The moment of truth comes when you get all these off in front of the man you like; a state of good, which makes you feel confident in your charms reflects on all aspects of your life, from the sentimental life to social life and to the professional one.

Often, women are too exigent with themselves, trying to perceive their own body as a man would do. It is wrong, because a man who is truly interested in a woman will never look at her in this way; and if he does, it means not only that he doesn't love her, but also that he searches for reasons to motivate his lack of feelings. A woman (and not only) is not loved for the perfection of her forms, but for something totally different; If what is on the outside is beautiful, than it is fine, but it doesn't represent everything.

Through his eyes

Women feel beautiful and attractive when they are loved. But the greatest fear of rejection comes from the man they love. Women know that the man next to them maybe has seen more beautiful naked women and they can not stop the things that make them become insecure and even inhibited.

Yes, men find defects, as women do, but these are not so important for them. Some men don't want to be anymore with their partners because those women gained weight, have more and more wrinkles and so on. These explanations are absolutely stupid, being related to the affective immaturity of that man (and not only). This is not a reason for him to leave his woman, but a pretext.

When a man loves, when he chooses to be next to a woman, all the small physical defects of the partner are ignored. We notice them for sure, as they notice ours; but we begin to love those small defects as they are part of the person we love.

A man who finds such pretexts is not able (or was not in that relationship) to love for real and maybe it's better if the relationship ends.

Women are vulnerable when they allow being vulnerable or when they choose to be vulnerable, because their fears belong to them, not to the men in front of who they get naked; they allow to think instead of that man. There are very beautiful women who are obsessed by the existence of minor or imaginary defects, which they amplify, creating true obsessions. But this issue is related to pathology.

Certainly, there are people who don't have physical complexes, as there are persons who have a wrong perception on their own body. We, the rest of women, have moments when we are pleased by our bodies and moments when we don't like to watch too long in the mirror. We are those who should help ourselves to become more self confident, starting by feeling good with our own body.

Practical: self-evaluation exercise

First, women should have a realistic evaluation of their own bodies. The objectivity of evaluation is not about saying "Oh, I look so awful!", but in noticing what are their strengths and weaknesses, their vulnerabilities. The weaknesses mustn't be established depending on the standards used by mannequins, but only depending on the body's harmony and a personal reference (for example, on a certain time when they used to like the way they were looking).

Strengths - beautiful eyes, arched eyebrows, full lips, beautiful shinny hair, beautiful hands, fine nails, firm breasts (not small or big, because it's not relevant), thin ankles;

Weaknesses: not very firm arms, acne, some extra weight, poor depilation, a not very good realized manicure.

Women should mention real defects, not structural- what's the point to cry every day that their breasts are too small or too big if they will never be able to change this? It is nonsense. It must be mentioned only the things that can be changed.

Further, they should read again the list and create a table with the following columns:

1. Vulnerability;

2. What should be done?

3. The best time to start;

4. Deadline;

5. Financial investment;

6. Observations

The list of strengths should be read daily, in order to add the weaknesses from the past that have been fixed. And also, each woman should repeat daily that if she considers herself being beautiful and loved, than the other will do it also. Maybe it is autosuggestion, it doesn't matter; it is important that they will be less anxious and more open to an effective communication with the partner. In fact, this is the key of a happy relationship.

No matter how good you look, you can have fears related to your body. It is important to get over them. And the answer to the question of the title should be: "He sees the woman he desires!"

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