What can destroy a marriage?

By Andra Picincu

Any marriage has problems and divorces are frequent. What are the most common causes that lead to a break up?

In time, studies have shown that there are several predominant causes that lead to relationships break up. With little effort the problems of any couple can be solved, if both partners try to fix some small details. Here are the biggest dangers for a couple:

1. Infidelity

'It was just once...' Temptations are all up. And apologies can be easily found, even if they are never plausible. What you don't know can't hurt you, some could say. In reality, when a third person appears in a relationship, the affair is followed by a long series of lies and, inevitably, by a break up between partners.

2. Jealousy

'He certainly hides something from me!' Even after many years together, the suspicions occur step by step in the couple. You know him, you trust him, but a little precaution is needed. Slowly, the jealousy takes place in your soul: a suspicious smile, a long hair that's hanging on his coat, followed by questions, suspicions, anxiety. You're not sure anymore about his love, you interrogate him, you verify him. Your scenarios reflect the reality, sometimes. Then, you are sorry. But all these affect him, if he's innocent. And one day, he leaves.

3. Passivity

'Doesn't all come from itself?' After a long time of living together, there occurs that routine that everybody complains about. You don't feel the need to make yourself beautiful for him as you were doing at the beginning of your relationship and you don't expect him home with a surprise. He doesn't buy you flowers as he was using to, you even have the feeling that he avoids you sometimes. And each of you postpones doing something about...

4. Selfishness

‘I have so much to do!'
‘It’s not my job to help her in the kitchen! She has done this just fine all the time.' And if he has this attitude, why would you concern to provide him all he needs? Sometimes, we forget about the one next to us, about his wishes and needs. If we always put ourselves first, we'll remain there, but alone.

5. A poor communication

‘I don't need explanations!' When we start a conversation, we already have a conviction about what we'll be the answer of the interlocutor. We perceive his answers as being negative, before even trying to understand them. Finally, we run far away, remaining only with our thoughts. When you're not sure about what your partners tries to say, then ask him. Give him the opportunity to explain and listen to him.